The reality hits home: I need to go through labour anytime in the next 4 weeks. Reading too much about it makes me nervous, but not reading enough would make me feel unprepared. I'm trying to balance reading the 'facts' with another book that encourages praying and letting God control the situation. Well, let's see if I would have a quiet calm birth that I wish for...
I'm going to start seeing my Obs weekly now and I think I should discuss with him my birth 'preference'. I would hope that he would appreciate my wish but I won't be surprised if he has other opinions. I asked him about 'water birth' and he seems to be against it, much to my surprise. I didn't read much about water birth so I couldn't really discuss in details about it. In the end, I just want a healthy baby out safely so I'm open to all the suggestions my Obs would give me on the labour day. My secret wish is actually to have a fast labour so my Obs won't have the time to suggest any interventions (episiotomy, c-section, forceps, etc).
Baby's doing well (I think), lots of movement and 2-3 hiccups a day now. I started to ignore food restrictions by drinking too much coffee and tea. I even had a ham & cheese croissant from the local bakery. On the other hand, I am taking extra supplements, Raspberry Leaf tablets, recommended by my midwife. I may try to get Evening Primrose as well one of these days. Oops, I almost forgot to take one today...
I bought lots of baby stuffs from Target and knowing I can return the goods if unused, I just grab every single baby items that I thought I might need. I just store them in the cupboard and will review it later when my mom is here. I need to start washing the hand-me-down baby clothes soon! But I keep tellling myself that it is not urgent. I think my MIL or mum will have time to wash all of them on the 'labour' day itself. We still need to buy baby cot and a car, which I hope to be ticked off the list sooner than later.
Looking forward to the next couple of weeks, with hubby's brother and his family coming staying with us, and my mum coming from Singapore...
Friday, May 21, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Third Trimester is finally here!
Despite not doing anything much at home, I didn't realize I'm in the third trimester of my pregnancy. Looking back, I have been wishing that it would come sooner but now I feel that I'm not ready to "push" yet. Oh well, there's still 2 more months to go now...
In March, hubby and I were too busy looking for another rental property to move to. I suggested that our current 2-bedroom apartment may be too small, especially since we may need some space for baby stuff and an extra room for my mom to stay when she's visiting here. At the same time, there's an apartment development right next to our apartment and it's getting very very noisy! I'm not taking any chance as there's already some cracks in one of the bathrooms from previous development.
My in-laws came back in March as well, after being away for half a year. I was initially happy for them to be back as it means I could eat home-cooked food (instead of home-delivery 'rantangan' food) and we have extra helps for the moving. But, their other son planned to come to Sydney for Easter holiday and invited my in-laws to come with them back to Toowoomba for holiday. Of course I would not stop them from having a holiday with their other son, especially since they rarely get to see him. But the lazy part of me is dreading moving without them hehee...
So we're moving to a 3-bedroom apartment back in Newington this weekend (Anzac day weekend), where we used to live when we first moved to Sydney. This lease would also mark the beginning of our 3rd year in Sydney, which would mean we have been moving every year! (Sounds like my CV!). Hopefully it is a much quieter place for all of us, a closer place nearer to our 2 friends (who live in the same area) and a more convenient place for public transport and grocery shopping.
Yesterday, I met up with my Obs and it is the start of my forthnightly check-up with him. I was worried that the bub is too small but he assured me that the size is quite normal considering I'm not big myself. He organized a 'fetal growth' ultrasound in 2 weeks' time and I would be looking forward to see bub in details! On another sad note, when I was trying to re-arrange my next appointment, I saw my Obs come out of the room with another pregnant lady (who was the patient after me) and he was talking softly to the midwife and I saw the lady was in tears! Oh no, I wonder what happened.... And I didn't realise that I was teary-eyed too (I tend to cry easily). I hope nothing serious happened to her and it made me realise how fragile life is sometimes.
Right, I am supposed to do more packing today and I'm anticipating my not-so-new stroller from my friend. I asked her to buy it on her US trip and bargained that she could even use it for her 3-yr old son during her trip there. And indeed she did! Thanks to her, hubby would get the stroller he likes (it was his choice) at a cheaper price (almost 50% cheaper). Of course it is not very new by now, but at least we have it tested by a 3-yr old and he seemed to enjoy it.
Next in our agenda would be looking to buy a new family car, and we plan to get one by end of May. Again, this is because we have a big family to start with (with in-laws and a baby coming soon) and we want to be able to have extra seats for guests (eg. my mom). My sister and her family is planning to come in August and my grand-aunt may also follow along. I'm looking forward to them visiting me! It's quite rare to have a visit from relatives (or friends) since we moved to Australia.
In March, hubby and I were too busy looking for another rental property to move to. I suggested that our current 2-bedroom apartment may be too small, especially since we may need some space for baby stuff and an extra room for my mom to stay when she's visiting here. At the same time, there's an apartment development right next to our apartment and it's getting very very noisy! I'm not taking any chance as there's already some cracks in one of the bathrooms from previous development.
My in-laws came back in March as well, after being away for half a year. I was initially happy for them to be back as it means I could eat home-cooked food (instead of home-delivery 'rantangan' food) and we have extra helps for the moving. But, their other son planned to come to Sydney for Easter holiday and invited my in-laws to come with them back to Toowoomba for holiday. Of course I would not stop them from having a holiday with their other son, especially since they rarely get to see him. But the lazy part of me is dreading moving without them hehee...
So we're moving to a 3-bedroom apartment back in Newington this weekend (Anzac day weekend), where we used to live when we first moved to Sydney. This lease would also mark the beginning of our 3rd year in Sydney, which would mean we have been moving every year! (Sounds like my CV!). Hopefully it is a much quieter place for all of us, a closer place nearer to our 2 friends (who live in the same area) and a more convenient place for public transport and grocery shopping.
Yesterday, I met up with my Obs and it is the start of my forthnightly check-up with him. I was worried that the bub is too small but he assured me that the size is quite normal considering I'm not big myself. He organized a 'fetal growth' ultrasound in 2 weeks' time and I would be looking forward to see bub in details! On another sad note, when I was trying to re-arrange my next appointment, I saw my Obs come out of the room with another pregnant lady (who was the patient after me) and he was talking softly to the midwife and I saw the lady was in tears! Oh no, I wonder what happened.... And I didn't realise that I was teary-eyed too (I tend to cry easily). I hope nothing serious happened to her and it made me realise how fragile life is sometimes.
Right, I am supposed to do more packing today and I'm anticipating my not-so-new stroller from my friend. I asked her to buy it on her US trip and bargained that she could even use it for her 3-yr old son during her trip there. And indeed she did! Thanks to her, hubby would get the stroller he likes (it was his choice) at a cheaper price (almost 50% cheaper). Of course it is not very new by now, but at least we have it tested by a 3-yr old and he seemed to enjoy it.
Next in our agenda would be looking to buy a new family car, and we plan to get one by end of May. Again, this is because we have a big family to start with (with in-laws and a baby coming soon) and we want to be able to have extra seats for guests (eg. my mom). My sister and her family is planning to come in August and my grand-aunt may also follow along. I'm looking forward to them visiting me! It's quite rare to have a visit from relatives (or friends) since we moved to Australia.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Glucose Test
Finally, after waiting 5 weeks since my last appointment, I'd get to see doctor and little bub again. As usual, doubts started to creep in and I kept asking my hubby "Do you think there's still a baby in there?", which he would answer "Yes...." Lucky for me he doesn't get tired of re-assuring me each time.
I got anterior placenta so I could not really feel baby's kicking very much. I think I started to feel some movements on my tummy but not sure what they are. Most of the time I could feel them when i'm watching TV or early in the morning (4-6am) when I woke up from sleep. Too bad I couldn't really share it with hubby, though he got excited each time I told him about it. So he is patiently waiting for the bub to get bigger....
As usual, hubby has a bad habit of being late for appointment and I have a bad habit of being in a bad mood whenever he's late. We arrived at 8.30am for our doctor's appointment and I was supposed to go for the glucose test first. Lucky our doctor was late so I could rushed down the hall to do the glucose test. I heard from my friend that the sugary drink is a bit yucky, but luckily it tasted like soft drink to me, so it was no problem for me to finish the bottle in 10 secs. I had started drinking soft drink for the last 2mths due to hot weather in summer.
We then waited our turn to see the doctor and he arrived quite shortly after that. I asked about whether it's alright to drink tea (though I'm trying to drink decaf if I could) and he said it's alright if I feel the urge to drink and as long as I don't drink it like water. I was worried about the baby's growth as I only put on 3 kg so far and it stayed that way since a month ago. He said that the weight gain would only be more abvious in the 3rd trimester. OK, I'd be looking forward to that. I told doctor that I carried an 11kg-baby last Saturday and ran to catch a free bus on Sunday (my hubby told me 'no no' on both) and worried on how it would impact the baby. He said not to worry about it as I would know if the weight is too much to carry. He did tell me before that I should act like a-70year old lady so I should move slowly. It's a bit hard for me to change, I tend to move reckless & abrupt when moving.
Sidetrack to my bus-running incident. On Sunday, we wanted to try this Thai restaurant in Darlinghurst for lunch but I didn't check the opening time and it only opens for dinner on weekends. So we headed down to Mamak (around Chinatown) to try their Malaysian food. After lunch, we wanted to go to QVB to look for birthday present and we chanced upon a Catholic church on George Street. The church looks modern and air-conditioned so I told hubby that he could try this next time with his parents. Then, I saw bus 555, a free bus covering the city area and I told hubby to catch it. I didn't leave him time to respond though, I ran for the bus and I hoped he followed me behind hehhee... We managed to catch it and I was explaining to him where the bus route is (since I worked in city and caught this bus several times). Then, I was surprised by.... 2 ladies who offered me their seat. My first thought was "Do I really look that pregnant!!" It's weird coz I would do the same thing they had done but now that I'm on the receiving end I don't understand why I felt 'uncomfortable' with the offer. Maybe.... I forgot that I was pregnant then, maybe .... I was not feeling tired (I was giggling & chatting excitedly with hubby at that time), maybe ... I was wearing a very loose blouse that I thought made me look 'just fat but not pregnant' hehehe.... So I took the offer & sat down elegantly as what a pregnant lady supposed to be!
Back to doctor's room, after the Q&A session, I finally got the chance to see the bub on ultrasound machine. As usual, I was holding my breath and waited for doctor to say there is a heartbeat. Yes, there is! Then he pointed us the head and legs. We had the same thought when he asked if we wanted to know the gender. Hubby & I said almost immediately "Yes!". He then played a little game and asked us to guess the gender by looking at the screen, "Do you see a 'burger' or a 'hotdog'". It's quite hard to see but it didn't look like hotdog so we guessed that it's a 'burger' (plus, my old Ob guessed it to be a girl) and he confirmed that it's a 'burger'. Now, we really need to think hard of a girl's name, and I can start looking for ballet school for her hahahaa.... A little mini-me inside me! (My hubby will protest that it's 'our' baby but I still have the tendency to say 'my' baby.)
We went back to do the blood test for the glucose test and we hope not to hear anything from the doctor in the next couple of weeks. No news is good news! Let me enjoy my cakes until then.
I got anterior placenta so I could not really feel baby's kicking very much. I think I started to feel some movements on my tummy but not sure what they are. Most of the time I could feel them when i'm watching TV or early in the morning (4-6am) when I woke up from sleep. Too bad I couldn't really share it with hubby, though he got excited each time I told him about it. So he is patiently waiting for the bub to get bigger....
As usual, hubby has a bad habit of being late for appointment and I have a bad habit of being in a bad mood whenever he's late. We arrived at 8.30am for our doctor's appointment and I was supposed to go for the glucose test first. Lucky our doctor was late so I could rushed down the hall to do the glucose test. I heard from my friend that the sugary drink is a bit yucky, but luckily it tasted like soft drink to me, so it was no problem for me to finish the bottle in 10 secs. I had started drinking soft drink for the last 2mths due to hot weather in summer.
We then waited our turn to see the doctor and he arrived quite shortly after that. I asked about whether it's alright to drink tea (though I'm trying to drink decaf if I could) and he said it's alright if I feel the urge to drink and as long as I don't drink it like water. I was worried about the baby's growth as I only put on 3 kg so far and it stayed that way since a month ago. He said that the weight gain would only be more abvious in the 3rd trimester. OK, I'd be looking forward to that. I told doctor that I carried an 11kg-baby last Saturday and ran to catch a free bus on Sunday (my hubby told me 'no no' on both) and worried on how it would impact the baby. He said not to worry about it as I would know if the weight is too much to carry. He did tell me before that I should act like a-70year old lady so I should move slowly. It's a bit hard for me to change, I tend to move reckless & abrupt when moving.
Sidetrack to my bus-running incident. On Sunday, we wanted to try this Thai restaurant in Darlinghurst for lunch but I didn't check the opening time and it only opens for dinner on weekends. So we headed down to Mamak (around Chinatown) to try their Malaysian food. After lunch, we wanted to go to QVB to look for birthday present and we chanced upon a Catholic church on George Street. The church looks modern and air-conditioned so I told hubby that he could try this next time with his parents. Then, I saw bus 555, a free bus covering the city area and I told hubby to catch it. I didn't leave him time to respond though, I ran for the bus and I hoped he followed me behind hehhee... We managed to catch it and I was explaining to him where the bus route is (since I worked in city and caught this bus several times). Then, I was surprised by.... 2 ladies who offered me their seat. My first thought was "Do I really look that pregnant!!" It's weird coz I would do the same thing they had done but now that I'm on the receiving end I don't understand why I felt 'uncomfortable' with the offer. Maybe.... I forgot that I was pregnant then, maybe .... I was not feeling tired (I was giggling & chatting excitedly with hubby at that time), maybe ... I was wearing a very loose blouse that I thought made me look 'just fat but not pregnant' hehehe.... So I took the offer & sat down elegantly as what a pregnant lady supposed to be!
Back to doctor's room, after the Q&A session, I finally got the chance to see the bub on ultrasound machine. As usual, I was holding my breath and waited for doctor to say there is a heartbeat. Yes, there is! Then he pointed us the head and legs. We had the same thought when he asked if we wanted to know the gender. Hubby & I said almost immediately "Yes!". He then played a little game and asked us to guess the gender by looking at the screen, "Do you see a 'burger' or a 'hotdog'". It's quite hard to see but it didn't look like hotdog so we guessed that it's a 'burger' (plus, my old Ob guessed it to be a girl) and he confirmed that it's a 'burger'. Now, we really need to think hard of a girl's name, and I can start looking for ballet school for her hahahaa.... A little mini-me inside me! (My hubby will protest that it's 'our' baby but I still have the tendency to say 'my' baby.)
We went back to do the blood test for the glucose test and we hope not to hear anything from the doctor in the next couple of weeks. No news is good news! Let me enjoy my cakes until then.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Trimester 2- Month 5
We were back from our Singapore trip in January 2010 & read about the changes in Medicare rebate for management fee of Obstetrician. Our Ob charges $3,500 for management fee, while the consultation fee is bulk-billed. Based on the changes, we would only get $200-400 from Medicare for management fee. It made me consider of changing Ob & started doing some research of other Obs & their reviews.
My friend suggested Dr Chua as her friend used his service before and she was satisfied. His management fee is lower, $1800, and since I was not exactly happy with my old Ob, I didn't mind taking the risk of trying a new Ob.
At the same time, I decided to try a new place for the 20week ultrasound (Morphology) that my friend recommened as it is bulk-billed. Again, it is partly due to effort to cut cost so I tried Castlereagh Imaging. It was not bad though the service & machine was not as good as the previous ultrasound my old Ob recommended (not bulk-billed). The sonographer couldn't see the sex of the baby but I told her that my old Ob said (based on her scan) that it could be a girl and her response was "Then it is 60% chance of a girl". Hmm... should I rush and buy all things pink now?
Our first appt with the new Ob went alright. It was during lunch time so hubby could accompany me. We had to see the midwife first and she did all the prep work (filling the form, checking blood pressure, etc) before we went to see Ob. His first reaction after calling my name: "Apa kabar?" & I knew right away he would be either a Malaysian or a Singaporean. He's Malaysian & he commented on the similar size he & hubby have (tall & big). He talks a lot, in my opinion, to the point that I started to doubt what he says hehehe... the way I doubt what my hubby or my FIL said each time they talked too much. Maybe it's the Malaysian thingy.
He advised me to buy Saxa iodised salt as the supplement I am taking (Elevit) doesn't contain iodine. He said that the salt would be more helpful as I could use it in my cooking (if I cook!) and I would need iodine during the breastfeeding period so it's better to include it in our daily food. During the scan, he measured the baby to be 15cm head-to-rump, but he couldn't see the sex too. He said we could find out later when the baby is bigger.
In the meantime, I told my parents that the baby could be a girl and my mom's reaction was "Don't tell your FIL yet" hehe.... My FIL is making a bet with me that it would be a boy and he would buy me more presents if the baby is a boy. Of course it created a light argumentation with me as I prefer a girl and I don't support his favouritism attitude. Now, it would be fun to tell him that the baby would be a girl hehheehe... I just like to tease him so much. My hubby and MIL are the diplomats, they say they have no preference as long as it is healthy.
My friend suggested Dr Chua as her friend used his service before and she was satisfied. His management fee is lower, $1800, and since I was not exactly happy with my old Ob, I didn't mind taking the risk of trying a new Ob.
At the same time, I decided to try a new place for the 20week ultrasound (Morphology) that my friend recommened as it is bulk-billed. Again, it is partly due to effort to cut cost so I tried Castlereagh Imaging. It was not bad though the service & machine was not as good as the previous ultrasound my old Ob recommended (not bulk-billed). The sonographer couldn't see the sex of the baby but I told her that my old Ob said (based on her scan) that it could be a girl and her response was "Then it is 60% chance of a girl". Hmm... should I rush and buy all things pink now?
Our first appt with the new Ob went alright. It was during lunch time so hubby could accompany me. We had to see the midwife first and she did all the prep work (filling the form, checking blood pressure, etc) before we went to see Ob. His first reaction after calling my name: "Apa kabar?" & I knew right away he would be either a Malaysian or a Singaporean. He's Malaysian & he commented on the similar size he & hubby have (tall & big). He talks a lot, in my opinion, to the point that I started to doubt what he says hehehe... the way I doubt what my hubby or my FIL said each time they talked too much. Maybe it's the Malaysian thingy.
He advised me to buy Saxa iodised salt as the supplement I am taking (Elevit) doesn't contain iodine. He said that the salt would be more helpful as I could use it in my cooking (if I cook!) and I would need iodine during the breastfeeding period so it's better to include it in our daily food. During the scan, he measured the baby to be 15cm head-to-rump, but he couldn't see the sex too. He said we could find out later when the baby is bigger.
In the meantime, I told my parents that the baby could be a girl and my mom's reaction was "Don't tell your FIL yet" hehe.... My FIL is making a bet with me that it would be a boy and he would buy me more presents if the baby is a boy. Of course it created a light argumentation with me as I prefer a girl and I don't support his favouritism attitude. Now, it would be fun to tell him that the baby would be a girl hehheehe... I just like to tease him so much. My hubby and MIL are the diplomats, they say they have no preference as long as it is healthy.
Trimester -1
My hubby is sick & sleeping now so I don't want to make so much noise. It seems like a good time to update this blog.
Trying to recall the 1st trimester that had passed, praise God that it was uneventful. I was originally reassured by my cousins, my nieces & my mom that our side of family don't usually experience any morning sickness. It was not exactly true! While I didn't vomit, I experienced food aversion. It started when my MIL made a big chunk of grilled salmon for me, I just couldn't finish the big portion. The next day, my good friend/neighbour gave me cooked fish again. From then on, I stopped eating fish and started to feel disturbed by the smell of garlic & soya sauce my MIL used in her daily cooking. Poor her, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings by not eating her cooking.
It was even more miserable when my PIL went back to Malaysia. What's worse than smelling chinese cooking is having nothing to eat for lunch at all. I wanted to eat food with no smell/fragrant, mainly bread, burgers and especially Vietnamese hot bread. I made some pasta until I was sick of pasta too. My lovely hubby gave me some money so I could go down to the Italian restaurant for lunch every day but it cost around $20 each meal & I wanted us to save money since I wasn't working then.
Our trip back to Singapore in December happened to be just right after the end of 1st Trimester. All my friends were so worried & advised us not to fly within the 1st Trimester, but we bought the tickets half a year before & as long as my Ob didn't say anything against it, we would fly.
We didn't really enjoy our trip back this time though. Partly because we didn't plan enough so we have days when we didn't know what we wanted to do. Partly because of the weather, the heat brought the worst of us hehehe... We felt irritated & we didn't have any appetite to eat. But I had durian & that was all I needed to be satisfied.
We got to celebrate my dad's birthday too! My mom made me buy a shirt for him for his present, which is really nice and thoughtful of her. I didn't plan to buy anything for him since we're paying for the dinner. We went to eat chilli crab at Jumbo with my PIL, my brother & family & my dad's friends. I think we keep going to Jumbo for special occasions involving both parents hehehe.... I was personally happy for my brother's helper (Maria) who got the chance to eat good food. She is a good helper, chatty, honest & young, and thank God she's not a fussy eater (though she can't eat pork) that she could enjoy the crabs as well.
Trying to recall the 1st trimester that had passed, praise God that it was uneventful. I was originally reassured by my cousins, my nieces & my mom that our side of family don't usually experience any morning sickness. It was not exactly true! While I didn't vomit, I experienced food aversion. It started when my MIL made a big chunk of grilled salmon for me, I just couldn't finish the big portion. The next day, my good friend/neighbour gave me cooked fish again. From then on, I stopped eating fish and started to feel disturbed by the smell of garlic & soya sauce my MIL used in her daily cooking. Poor her, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings by not eating her cooking.
It was even more miserable when my PIL went back to Malaysia. What's worse than smelling chinese cooking is having nothing to eat for lunch at all. I wanted to eat food with no smell/fragrant, mainly bread, burgers and especially Vietnamese hot bread. I made some pasta until I was sick of pasta too. My lovely hubby gave me some money so I could go down to the Italian restaurant for lunch every day but it cost around $20 each meal & I wanted us to save money since I wasn't working then.
Our trip back to Singapore in December happened to be just right after the end of 1st Trimester. All my friends were so worried & advised us not to fly within the 1st Trimester, but we bought the tickets half a year before & as long as my Ob didn't say anything against it, we would fly.
We didn't really enjoy our trip back this time though. Partly because we didn't plan enough so we have days when we didn't know what we wanted to do. Partly because of the weather, the heat brought the worst of us hehehe... We felt irritated & we didn't have any appetite to eat. But I had durian & that was all I needed to be satisfied.
We got to celebrate my dad's birthday too! My mom made me buy a shirt for him for his present, which is really nice and thoughtful of her. I didn't plan to buy anything for him since we're paying for the dinner. We went to eat chilli crab at Jumbo with my PIL, my brother & family & my dad's friends. I think we keep going to Jumbo for special occasions involving both parents hehehe.... I was personally happy for my brother's helper (Maria) who got the chance to eat good food. She is a good helper, chatty, honest & young, and thank God she's not a fussy eater (though she can't eat pork) that she could enjoy the crabs as well.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
IVF, pregnancy, egg donor and adoption
Wow, it's been more than half a year since my last post. I was distracted with Facebook & was more active there since then.
Since my last post on us trying IUI in June, we subsequently found out that it was negative. We then went on to try IVF #1 in Aug-09 and we got 10 eggs from it (based on low dosage of Puregon) but only 2 of them made it to day 5 (blastocyst). We put 1 back into my womb and froze the other one. Still, we got a negative result from the fresh embryo we put back and we contemplated trying a new cycle of IVF #2 while leaving the frozen embryo for future use (since IVF costs were to increase in 2010).
During a discussion with our IVF doctor, we expressed our plan to start a new cycle and he agreeed to it. But subsequently the conversation evaluated the possibility of using the frozen embryo and we agreed to it! Only after I stepped out of his office that I realised that we are not doing what we planned to do! I felt a bit confused why we agreed to use the frozen embryo but we decided to just stick with it (and I was too lazy to call the doctor). Looking back, I think it is God's way of telling us that His way was better than our way (Isiah 55:8-9 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, "declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts"). I was pregnant from the frozen embryo I didn't plan to put back.
After our failed IVF #1 (before we started the frozen embryo transfer), we thought of giving this baby project our 100% our best since each cycle cost a lot, monetarily & maybe emotionally, and we're not getting any younger (my eggs were 34yrs old!). We decided that I would not work since my hours were long and & it could be quite stressful. So I told my boss in September and I was to serve my notification period until October. Only a few days before my last day that we got the BFP (big fat positive) results. It was great coz I got to tell the good news to my colleagues & boss, especially those who knew about my IVF journey (I was quite open and discuss about IVF with those who asked me about it). So I was pregnant & unemployed! The only drawback is that we have to postpone our plan to buy a house, probably until 2011 or 2012, since our financial position may change with baby onboard.
I planned to have an egg donation late 2010 too, probably a few months after giving birth. I saw an ads for egg donor request in Sep-09 and wanted to help her. We exchanged a few messages and I told her that if I'm not pregnant by June-2010 I would donate my eggs to her & moved on to adoption plan. But since I was pregnant subsequently, we postpone it until after birth & breastfeeding period. I felt guilty about planning to cut short the breastfeeding period but I think formula-fed would be a good alternative as well since a few friends formula-fed their babies.
It could've been me on her position, since we were struggling to have a baby too, like her. The fact that I am blessed with the experience of being pregnant makes me want to do my part to help her, knowing that I would wish somebody would help me too if I were in her position. I hope we would get to know each other during this period and maintain an open relationship after the donation. I would love to get to know the baby we're making (my egg, her womb and her husband's sperm) and would treat the baby as my close friend's baby or even my niece/nephew. It would be as if I have an adopted sister in Melbourne, that'd be nice!
After we buy a house, I hope to be able to lodge my adoption paper so it would be processed as early as possible. Hopefully we would get an addition by the time this baby turns 7 years. I have not researched too much about any restriction, but I would not mind trying another one (without IVF) during the 7 years' wait for the adoption. But I would need to check if it is allowed or if it would push back the waiting period even longer.
Now, I'm filling my time doing nothing much, which is good! I was planning to find a short-time contract job between now and May but it won't be easy as nobody wants to hire a pregnant staff. My friends advise me to enjoy the freedom now before baby arrives, so I would do just that. I'm thankful for my friends who gave me books to read about involving God in the pregnancy & birth period. Those books made me realise that I am a very pessimistic person and I felt undeserved of this baby, this life He's entrusting me to love & care. It's really hard to rely on faith alone and to trust that He has great plan for me. I always take the other way, preparing for any bad things that could happen to me so I won't blame God.
Since my last post on us trying IUI in June, we subsequently found out that it was negative. We then went on to try IVF #1 in Aug-09 and we got 10 eggs from it (based on low dosage of Puregon) but only 2 of them made it to day 5 (blastocyst). We put 1 back into my womb and froze the other one. Still, we got a negative result from the fresh embryo we put back and we contemplated trying a new cycle of IVF #2 while leaving the frozen embryo for future use (since IVF costs were to increase in 2010).
During a discussion with our IVF doctor, we expressed our plan to start a new cycle and he agreeed to it. But subsequently the conversation evaluated the possibility of using the frozen embryo and we agreed to it! Only after I stepped out of his office that I realised that we are not doing what we planned to do! I felt a bit confused why we agreed to use the frozen embryo but we decided to just stick with it (and I was too lazy to call the doctor). Looking back, I think it is God's way of telling us that His way was better than our way (Isiah 55:8-9 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, "declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts"). I was pregnant from the frozen embryo I didn't plan to put back.
After our failed IVF #1 (before we started the frozen embryo transfer), we thought of giving this baby project our 100% our best since each cycle cost a lot, monetarily & maybe emotionally, and we're not getting any younger (my eggs were 34yrs old!). We decided that I would not work since my hours were long and & it could be quite stressful. So I told my boss in September and I was to serve my notification period until October. Only a few days before my last day that we got the BFP (big fat positive) results. It was great coz I got to tell the good news to my colleagues & boss, especially those who knew about my IVF journey (I was quite open and discuss about IVF with those who asked me about it). So I was pregnant & unemployed! The only drawback is that we have to postpone our plan to buy a house, probably until 2011 or 2012, since our financial position may change with baby onboard.
I planned to have an egg donation late 2010 too, probably a few months after giving birth. I saw an ads for egg donor request in Sep-09 and wanted to help her. We exchanged a few messages and I told her that if I'm not pregnant by June-2010 I would donate my eggs to her & moved on to adoption plan. But since I was pregnant subsequently, we postpone it until after birth & breastfeeding period. I felt guilty about planning to cut short the breastfeeding period but I think formula-fed would be a good alternative as well since a few friends formula-fed their babies.
It could've been me on her position, since we were struggling to have a baby too, like her. The fact that I am blessed with the experience of being pregnant makes me want to do my part to help her, knowing that I would wish somebody would help me too if I were in her position. I hope we would get to know each other during this period and maintain an open relationship after the donation. I would love to get to know the baby we're making (my egg, her womb and her husband's sperm) and would treat the baby as my close friend's baby or even my niece/nephew. It would be as if I have an adopted sister in Melbourne, that'd be nice!
After we buy a house, I hope to be able to lodge my adoption paper so it would be processed as early as possible. Hopefully we would get an addition by the time this baby turns 7 years. I have not researched too much about any restriction, but I would not mind trying another one (without IVF) during the 7 years' wait for the adoption. But I would need to check if it is allowed or if it would push back the waiting period even longer.
Now, I'm filling my time doing nothing much, which is good! I was planning to find a short-time contract job between now and May but it won't be easy as nobody wants to hire a pregnant staff. My friends advise me to enjoy the freedom now before baby arrives, so I would do just that. I'm thankful for my friends who gave me books to read about involving God in the pregnancy & birth period. Those books made me realise that I am a very pessimistic person and I felt undeserved of this baby, this life He's entrusting me to love & care. It's really hard to rely on faith alone and to trust that He has great plan for me. I always take the other way, preparing for any bad things that could happen to me so I won't blame God.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The deed is done
After getting over the first needle injection of Puregon, we finally did the IUI today. I know that it was not supposed to hurt but it was still uncomfortable. I wish my hubby would let me go to gym after the IUI, but I guess he doesn't want to take the risk.... and it's always easy to laze around :)
The day didn't start right as we were late for the sperm collection and couldn't find parking. We didn't know that we could park within the building if we get the nurse to give us the code for the parking area. Seriously, the nurse should have told us in advance that we could park inside. The whole thing made him hard to 'concentrate', iykwim. We know now that next time (yes, always be prepared for next time) we'd just do it at home and bring it to the clinic.
Then, off we went to have breakfast at Parramatta Westfield and settle our mailing fiasco with Bankwest. We have changed our address 3-4 times but each time the statements seemed to still go to the old address. Hopefully this time they'll get it right.
Our plan would be to try IUI 2 - 3 times and move to IVF with ICSI. By January 2009, since Medicare subsidy would be less, we would try TCM. Why not, it'd be interesting to try different procedures and see what works and what not. Now, we just need to budget for all these extra costs.
Personally, I couln't find any reason to be excited about conceiving yet. I am neutral about having baby or not having one, but pro-adoption. It will be fantastic if we could beat the odds, probably the same feeling of passing CFA exams knowing 50% of entrants would fail.
The day didn't start right as we were late for the sperm collection and couldn't find parking. We didn't know that we could park within the building if we get the nurse to give us the code for the parking area. Seriously, the nurse should have told us in advance that we could park inside. The whole thing made him hard to 'concentrate', iykwim. We know now that next time (yes, always be prepared for next time) we'd just do it at home and bring it to the clinic.
Then, off we went to have breakfast at Parramatta Westfield and settle our mailing fiasco with Bankwest. We have changed our address 3-4 times but each time the statements seemed to still go to the old address. Hopefully this time they'll get it right.
Our plan would be to try IUI 2 - 3 times and move to IVF with ICSI. By January 2009, since Medicare subsidy would be less, we would try TCM. Why not, it'd be interesting to try different procedures and see what works and what not. Now, we just need to budget for all these extra costs.
Personally, I couln't find any reason to be excited about conceiving yet. I am neutral about having baby or not having one, but pro-adoption. It will be fantastic if we could beat the odds, probably the same feeling of passing CFA exams knowing 50% of entrants would fail.
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