We were back from our Singapore trip in January 2010 & read about the changes in Medicare rebate for management fee of Obstetrician. Our Ob charges $3,500 for management fee, while the consultation fee is bulk-billed. Based on the changes, we would only get $200-400 from Medicare for management fee. It made me consider of changing Ob & started doing some research of other Obs & their reviews.
My friend suggested Dr Chua as her friend used his service before and she was satisfied. His management fee is lower, $1800, and since I was not exactly happy with my old Ob, I didn't mind taking the risk of trying a new Ob.
At the same time, I decided to try a new place for the 20week ultrasound (Morphology) that my friend recommened as it is bulk-billed. Again, it is partly due to effort to cut cost so I tried Castlereagh Imaging. It was not bad though the service & machine was not as good as the previous ultrasound my old Ob recommended (not bulk-billed). The sonographer couldn't see the sex of the baby but I told her that my old Ob said (based on her scan) that it could be a girl and her response was "Then it is 60% chance of a girl". Hmm... should I rush and buy all things pink now?
Our first appt with the new Ob went alright. It was during lunch time so hubby could accompany me. We had to see the midwife first and she did all the prep work (filling the form, checking blood pressure, etc) before we went to see Ob. His first reaction after calling my name: "Apa kabar?" & I knew right away he would be either a Malaysian or a Singaporean. He's Malaysian & he commented on the similar size he & hubby have (tall & big). He talks a lot, in my opinion, to the point that I started to doubt what he says hehehe... the way I doubt what my hubby or my FIL said each time they talked too much. Maybe it's the Malaysian thingy.
He advised me to buy Saxa iodised salt as the supplement I am taking (Elevit) doesn't contain iodine. He said that the salt would be more helpful as I could use it in my cooking (if I cook!) and I would need iodine during the breastfeeding period so it's better to include it in our daily food. During the scan, he measured the baby to be 15cm head-to-rump, but he couldn't see the sex too. He said we could find out later when the baby is bigger.
In the meantime, I told my parents that the baby could be a girl and my mom's reaction was "Don't tell your FIL yet" hehe.... My FIL is making a bet with me that it would be a boy and he would buy me more presents if the baby is a boy. Of course it created a light argumentation with me as I prefer a girl and I don't support his favouritism attitude. Now, it would be fun to tell him that the baby would be a girl hehheehe... I just like to tease him so much. My hubby and MIL are the diplomats, they say they have no preference as long as it is healthy.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Trimester -1
My hubby is sick & sleeping now so I don't want to make so much noise. It seems like a good time to update this blog.
Trying to recall the 1st trimester that had passed, praise God that it was uneventful. I was originally reassured by my cousins, my nieces & my mom that our side of family don't usually experience any morning sickness. It was not exactly true! While I didn't vomit, I experienced food aversion. It started when my MIL made a big chunk of grilled salmon for me, I just couldn't finish the big portion. The next day, my good friend/neighbour gave me cooked fish again. From then on, I stopped eating fish and started to feel disturbed by the smell of garlic & soya sauce my MIL used in her daily cooking. Poor her, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings by not eating her cooking.
It was even more miserable when my PIL went back to Malaysia. What's worse than smelling chinese cooking is having nothing to eat for lunch at all. I wanted to eat food with no smell/fragrant, mainly bread, burgers and especially Vietnamese hot bread. I made some pasta until I was sick of pasta too. My lovely hubby gave me some money so I could go down to the Italian restaurant for lunch every day but it cost around $20 each meal & I wanted us to save money since I wasn't working then.
Our trip back to Singapore in December happened to be just right after the end of 1st Trimester. All my friends were so worried & advised us not to fly within the 1st Trimester, but we bought the tickets half a year before & as long as my Ob didn't say anything against it, we would fly.
We didn't really enjoy our trip back this time though. Partly because we didn't plan enough so we have days when we didn't know what we wanted to do. Partly because of the weather, the heat brought the worst of us hehehe... We felt irritated & we didn't have any appetite to eat. But I had durian & that was all I needed to be satisfied.
We got to celebrate my dad's birthday too! My mom made me buy a shirt for him for his present, which is really nice and thoughtful of her. I didn't plan to buy anything for him since we're paying for the dinner. We went to eat chilli crab at Jumbo with my PIL, my brother & family & my dad's friends. I think we keep going to Jumbo for special occasions involving both parents hehehe.... I was personally happy for my brother's helper (Maria) who got the chance to eat good food. She is a good helper, chatty, honest & young, and thank God she's not a fussy eater (though she can't eat pork) that she could enjoy the crabs as well.
Trying to recall the 1st trimester that had passed, praise God that it was uneventful. I was originally reassured by my cousins, my nieces & my mom that our side of family don't usually experience any morning sickness. It was not exactly true! While I didn't vomit, I experienced food aversion. It started when my MIL made a big chunk of grilled salmon for me, I just couldn't finish the big portion. The next day, my good friend/neighbour gave me cooked fish again. From then on, I stopped eating fish and started to feel disturbed by the smell of garlic & soya sauce my MIL used in her daily cooking. Poor her, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings by not eating her cooking.
It was even more miserable when my PIL went back to Malaysia. What's worse than smelling chinese cooking is having nothing to eat for lunch at all. I wanted to eat food with no smell/fragrant, mainly bread, burgers and especially Vietnamese hot bread. I made some pasta until I was sick of pasta too. My lovely hubby gave me some money so I could go down to the Italian restaurant for lunch every day but it cost around $20 each meal & I wanted us to save money since I wasn't working then.
Our trip back to Singapore in December happened to be just right after the end of 1st Trimester. All my friends were so worried & advised us not to fly within the 1st Trimester, but we bought the tickets half a year before & as long as my Ob didn't say anything against it, we would fly.
We didn't really enjoy our trip back this time though. Partly because we didn't plan enough so we have days when we didn't know what we wanted to do. Partly because of the weather, the heat brought the worst of us hehehe... We felt irritated & we didn't have any appetite to eat. But I had durian & that was all I needed to be satisfied.
We got to celebrate my dad's birthday too! My mom made me buy a shirt for him for his present, which is really nice and thoughtful of her. I didn't plan to buy anything for him since we're paying for the dinner. We went to eat chilli crab at Jumbo with my PIL, my brother & family & my dad's friends. I think we keep going to Jumbo for special occasions involving both parents hehehe.... I was personally happy for my brother's helper (Maria) who got the chance to eat good food. She is a good helper, chatty, honest & young, and thank God she's not a fussy eater (though she can't eat pork) that she could enjoy the crabs as well.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
IVF, pregnancy, egg donor and adoption
Wow, it's been more than half a year since my last post. I was distracted with Facebook & was more active there since then.
Since my last post on us trying IUI in June, we subsequently found out that it was negative. We then went on to try IVF #1 in Aug-09 and we got 10 eggs from it (based on low dosage of Puregon) but only 2 of them made it to day 5 (blastocyst). We put 1 back into my womb and froze the other one. Still, we got a negative result from the fresh embryo we put back and we contemplated trying a new cycle of IVF #2 while leaving the frozen embryo for future use (since IVF costs were to increase in 2010).
During a discussion with our IVF doctor, we expressed our plan to start a new cycle and he agreeed to it. But subsequently the conversation evaluated the possibility of using the frozen embryo and we agreed to it! Only after I stepped out of his office that I realised that we are not doing what we planned to do! I felt a bit confused why we agreed to use the frozen embryo but we decided to just stick with it (and I was too lazy to call the doctor). Looking back, I think it is God's way of telling us that His way was better than our way (Isiah 55:8-9 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, "declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts"). I was pregnant from the frozen embryo I didn't plan to put back.
After our failed IVF #1 (before we started the frozen embryo transfer), we thought of giving this baby project our 100% our best since each cycle cost a lot, monetarily & maybe emotionally, and we're not getting any younger (my eggs were 34yrs old!). We decided that I would not work since my hours were long and & it could be quite stressful. So I told my boss in September and I was to serve my notification period until October. Only a few days before my last day that we got the BFP (big fat positive) results. It was great coz I got to tell the good news to my colleagues & boss, especially those who knew about my IVF journey (I was quite open and discuss about IVF with those who asked me about it). So I was pregnant & unemployed! The only drawback is that we have to postpone our plan to buy a house, probably until 2011 or 2012, since our financial position may change with baby onboard.
I planned to have an egg donation late 2010 too, probably a few months after giving birth. I saw an ads for egg donor request in Sep-09 and wanted to help her. We exchanged a few messages and I told her that if I'm not pregnant by June-2010 I would donate my eggs to her & moved on to adoption plan. But since I was pregnant subsequently, we postpone it until after birth & breastfeeding period. I felt guilty about planning to cut short the breastfeeding period but I think formula-fed would be a good alternative as well since a few friends formula-fed their babies.
It could've been me on her position, since we were struggling to have a baby too, like her. The fact that I am blessed with the experience of being pregnant makes me want to do my part to help her, knowing that I would wish somebody would help me too if I were in her position. I hope we would get to know each other during this period and maintain an open relationship after the donation. I would love to get to know the baby we're making (my egg, her womb and her husband's sperm) and would treat the baby as my close friend's baby or even my niece/nephew. It would be as if I have an adopted sister in Melbourne, that'd be nice!
After we buy a house, I hope to be able to lodge my adoption paper so it would be processed as early as possible. Hopefully we would get an addition by the time this baby turns 7 years. I have not researched too much about any restriction, but I would not mind trying another one (without IVF) during the 7 years' wait for the adoption. But I would need to check if it is allowed or if it would push back the waiting period even longer.
Now, I'm filling my time doing nothing much, which is good! I was planning to find a short-time contract job between now and May but it won't be easy as nobody wants to hire a pregnant staff. My friends advise me to enjoy the freedom now before baby arrives, so I would do just that. I'm thankful for my friends who gave me books to read about involving God in the pregnancy & birth period. Those books made me realise that I am a very pessimistic person and I felt undeserved of this baby, this life He's entrusting me to love & care. It's really hard to rely on faith alone and to trust that He has great plan for me. I always take the other way, preparing for any bad things that could happen to me so I won't blame God.
Since my last post on us trying IUI in June, we subsequently found out that it was negative. We then went on to try IVF #1 in Aug-09 and we got 10 eggs from it (based on low dosage of Puregon) but only 2 of them made it to day 5 (blastocyst). We put 1 back into my womb and froze the other one. Still, we got a negative result from the fresh embryo we put back and we contemplated trying a new cycle of IVF #2 while leaving the frozen embryo for future use (since IVF costs were to increase in 2010).
During a discussion with our IVF doctor, we expressed our plan to start a new cycle and he agreeed to it. But subsequently the conversation evaluated the possibility of using the frozen embryo and we agreed to it! Only after I stepped out of his office that I realised that we are not doing what we planned to do! I felt a bit confused why we agreed to use the frozen embryo but we decided to just stick with it (and I was too lazy to call the doctor). Looking back, I think it is God's way of telling us that His way was better than our way (Isiah 55:8-9 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, "declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts"). I was pregnant from the frozen embryo I didn't plan to put back.
After our failed IVF #1 (before we started the frozen embryo transfer), we thought of giving this baby project our 100% our best since each cycle cost a lot, monetarily & maybe emotionally, and we're not getting any younger (my eggs were 34yrs old!). We decided that I would not work since my hours were long and & it could be quite stressful. So I told my boss in September and I was to serve my notification period until October. Only a few days before my last day that we got the BFP (big fat positive) results. It was great coz I got to tell the good news to my colleagues & boss, especially those who knew about my IVF journey (I was quite open and discuss about IVF with those who asked me about it). So I was pregnant & unemployed! The only drawback is that we have to postpone our plan to buy a house, probably until 2011 or 2012, since our financial position may change with baby onboard.
I planned to have an egg donation late 2010 too, probably a few months after giving birth. I saw an ads for egg donor request in Sep-09 and wanted to help her. We exchanged a few messages and I told her that if I'm not pregnant by June-2010 I would donate my eggs to her & moved on to adoption plan. But since I was pregnant subsequently, we postpone it until after birth & breastfeeding period. I felt guilty about planning to cut short the breastfeeding period but I think formula-fed would be a good alternative as well since a few friends formula-fed their babies.
It could've been me on her position, since we were struggling to have a baby too, like her. The fact that I am blessed with the experience of being pregnant makes me want to do my part to help her, knowing that I would wish somebody would help me too if I were in her position. I hope we would get to know each other during this period and maintain an open relationship after the donation. I would love to get to know the baby we're making (my egg, her womb and her husband's sperm) and would treat the baby as my close friend's baby or even my niece/nephew. It would be as if I have an adopted sister in Melbourne, that'd be nice!
After we buy a house, I hope to be able to lodge my adoption paper so it would be processed as early as possible. Hopefully we would get an addition by the time this baby turns 7 years. I have not researched too much about any restriction, but I would not mind trying another one (without IVF) during the 7 years' wait for the adoption. But I would need to check if it is allowed or if it would push back the waiting period even longer.
Now, I'm filling my time doing nothing much, which is good! I was planning to find a short-time contract job between now and May but it won't be easy as nobody wants to hire a pregnant staff. My friends advise me to enjoy the freedom now before baby arrives, so I would do just that. I'm thankful for my friends who gave me books to read about involving God in the pregnancy & birth period. Those books made me realise that I am a very pessimistic person and I felt undeserved of this baby, this life He's entrusting me to love & care. It's really hard to rely on faith alone and to trust that He has great plan for me. I always take the other way, preparing for any bad things that could happen to me so I won't blame God.
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