Last Saturday, my mom asked me to go out with her. She wanted to shop for a new dress for my cousin's wedding back in Jakarta.
So I brought her to Metro Paragon and OG but after a long walk she couldn't find the dress she's looking for. My father (clever of him) wanted to join only for the dinner part, so he went to pick the restaurant and waited for us there. After the meal, they brought up the Australian issue.
They were quite strongly disagreed with my decision to go Australia. The conversation went like this: "With a good stable job and a good flat, why throw it away for uncertainty in a foreign country where you'll be a second class citizen?", "We didn't agree with you going to Australia the 1st time around, see what happened.. you came back", "who's idea was it to go Australia? Must be your husband! Sigh, I think you married the wrong guy...", "what if you can't find a job? Who's going to support us? Remember you have 4 mouths to feed..." (<---refering that my husband and I need to provide for both our parents)
Although I was a little suprised with their choice of words, I was not really sad as I expected their reaction and understand their point of view. I remember what my parents said before sending me to Singapore, "Learn English and Mandarin, but don't be like most Singaporeans who neglected their parents". I think they may have a fear that their children would forget about them. I'm guilty of it sometimes, I rarely call them (they would call me) so I'm pretty amazed when I found out some of my colleagues who would call their parents overseas every day/night. I wish they stay with me or near me.... so I don't have to travel far (far=30min train :P) to see them every week.
I think their other issue is the choice of country. I'm sure they'd feel differently if we go to China or Taiwan instead. In Australia, if they visit us there, they won't be able to roam around as they can't speak English.... well, except Chinatown perhaps. In Singapore, they're still comfortable as at least majority peole here speak Chinese or Malay and they have all the Taiwanese program to watch every day.
So I told them not to worry about it, that I would choose a 3-bedroom flat so both parents could stay with us. If they are sick of staying in Singapore, they could visit my sister in Taiwan during winter and fly to Australia for another round of winter hehehee... My parents-in-law would be able to bring them around Australia if they visit.
My mom actually asked that she keeps all my insurance certificates. I'm not too sure what to make out if it. Either she thinks I may lose them in Australia or... they want to ensure they get something back if something happened to me. Well, I told them that I'm thinking of getting a term insurance and they will be the beneficiaries. And my dad told me "Good, you never know whether a man change after going to a new country" hehehehe.... I think I can classify them as 'paranoids'?
Oh well, a few days later they tried to call me on my mobile but I happened to switch off the phone earlier (low battery). They thought I'm avoiding them or angry with them.... hehehe....
2 comments:
My parents didn't quite agree with me quitting my job in Singapore to come here too initially. But since they don't depend on me financially I made the decision without even consulting them and I already resigned by the time I told them.
Interestingly, after we've settled here and they have seen and heard how happy we were and how my sister always complained about work pressures in Singapore they encouraged her to migrate here too and now that she is here too even my parents want to migrate here when they retire.
Perhaps living in areas with large Asian population will help when they visit/move with you?
Thanks for the advice, Wills. I think my parents disapproval will push me to prove to them that our lives there won't so bad.
Ya, will keep a lookout on those areas with more Asians. Though.... i have a feeling that my FIL and hubby would prefer to mix with the 'westerners'. I suspect they like to think that they are westerners sometimes hehehee...
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